Shepherding a Child's Heart Session 11 — Hints for Parents

[0:00] Estamos enseñando hábitos de vida y carácter. And what parent, for example, would want his child to be overbearing? Or think about the opportunities that you have to be an example of submission to authority.

[0:45] Because you can model respect for the people you work with. Or respect for the leaders who lead the church.

[0:57] Or think about how important your conduct is when it comes to truthfulness. We have the opportunity every day to model for our children the importance of being people of integrity.

[1:16] Tenemos cada día la oportunidad de modelar para nuestros niños lo que es ser personas de integridad. And so when our yes is yes and our no is no, we're showing our children the importance of truth.

[1:31] Cuando nuestro sí es sí y nuestro no es no, le estamos enseñando a nuestros niños la importancia de lo que es la verdad. Or we live in a culture that is a very affluent culture.

[1:42] Vivimos en una cultura que es muy próspera. And we can be models of what's really important to our children. Y podemos ser modelos de lo que es realmente importante para nuestros niños.

[1:56] We show what's really valuable to us as we put our energy into storing up treasures in heaven. Le mostramos a ellos lo que es realmente valioso para nosotros a medida que nosotros acumulamos tesoros en los cielos.

[2:11] The things we praise and regard as worthwhile speak volumes to our children. De las cosas que nosotros alabamos y tenemos por valiosas hablan volúmenes, grandes cosas a nuestros niños.

[2:25] Remember where our treasure is, that's where our heart is. Recordemos que donde está nuestro tesoro, allí estará nuestro corazón. Our children have the opportunity to observe our friendships every day.

[2:35] Nuestros niños tienen la oportunidad de ver nuestra amistad cada día. They see our loyalty to our friends. Ven nuestra lealtad a nuestros amigos. They hear our kindness and faithfulness.

[2:47] Escuchan nuestra gentileza y fidelidad. They know what kind of conversations we carry on and how much God figures into those conversations. Ellos ven, escuchan las conversaciones que tenemos y cuánto Dios figura en esas conversaciones.

[3:03] They know that our friends are safe with us. Ellos saben que nuestros amigos están seguros con nosotros. That we would never speak kindly to their face and then unkindly in their absence.

[3:13] Que nunca hablaremos gentilmente delante de ellos y por detrás diremos cosas malas. Or think about the ways that we can encourage their hope in God and their faith in the scriptures.

[3:27] Lo pensemos en las maneras en que nosotros los podemos estimular a que confíen en Dios, tengan esperanza en Él y confíen en las escrituras. Do we look forward to the Lord's Day and call it a delight?

[3:40] Anticipamos nosotros el día del Señor y los llamamos deleitoso. Do we love the world and its passing treasures? Amamos el mundo y sus tesoros pasajeros?

[3:52] How much are we conformed to the world? ¿Cuándo nos conformamos al mundo? Do we have people in our lives who can challenge us and who encourage us in love and good deeds?

[4:03] Tenemos personas en nuestra vida que nos retan y nos estimulan al amor y a las buenas obras? Do we desire the praise of man or the praise of God?

[4:16] Deseamos nosotros la alabanza de los hombres o la alabanza que viene de Dios? There's an interesting exhortation that Paul gives to Timothy.

[4:29] Hay una exhortación importante que le da Pablo a Timoteo. Y muestra el ejemplo de los ejemplos paternos. He exhorts Timothy to continue in the things that he has learned and heard because he knows those who have taught them to him.

[4:47] Él estimula a Timoteo a que continúen las cosas que les fueron enseñadas y que él aprendió cómo se las enseñaron. And we know that Timothy learned the faith from his mother and his grandmother.

[4:59] Y sabemos que Timoteo obtuvo su fe de su abuela y de su madre. And we want to be parents who can say to our children, continue in the things we've taught you. Y queremos ser padres que le podamos decir a nuestros niños, continúa en lo que yo te he enseñado.

[5:14] Continue in sincere faith. You know me, son. You know me, daughter. Continúa en una fe sincera. Tú me conoces, mi hija. You know my purpose to live for God's glory.

[5:25] Conoces mi propósito de vivir para la gloria de Dios. And even though I'm not perfect, you know that there's a sincerity in my desire to live for God. Y aunque tú sabes que no soy perfecto, hay sinceridad en mi corazón de vivir para Dios.

[5:39] Now earlier in that, in 2 Timothy, Paul reminds us that we're saved by the power of God. Más adelante, Pablo nos recuerda que somos salvos por la gracia de Dios.

[5:50] God saved us and called us to holy living. Dios nos llamó para que vivamos de manera santa. Not because of good things in us, but because of his purpose and his grace.

[6:02] No por nada bueno en nosotros, sino por el propósito de su gracia. And he says that grace was given to us before all time. Y dice que esa gracia nos fue dada antes de la fundación del mundo.

[6:14] And that truth can give us hope to be the example we ought to be. Y esa verdad nos da esperanza para que seamos el ejemplo que deseamos ser. Because we feel our weakness and our neediness.

[6:27] Porque sentimos nuestra debilidad y necesidad. And if we look inside for the ability to be a consistent example, we will fail. Y si buscamos dentro de nosotros la habilidad de ser un ejemplo, fracasaremos.

[6:41] But praise God that we can be strong in his grace. Pero alabemos a Dios que podemos ser fuerte en su gracia. And the grace to be the example our children need is found for us in Christ.

[6:53] Y la gracia para que seamos ejemplo de lo que los niños nuestros necesitan la encontramos en Cristo. The second means is to provide vigorous instruction for our children.

[7:04] Our children are not just creatures of imitation. They're also creatures of intellect. Nuestros niños no son solamente criaturas de imitación, sino de intelecto.

[7:20] And as parents we reason with our children. Y como padres debemos razonar con nuestros niños. We want to convince them and persuade them of the truth of God's word.

[7:30] Los queremos convencer y persuadir de la verdad de Dios. And there is no greater joy than to see your children be informed and convinced and persuaded of the truths that you've taught them.

[7:43] Y no hay mayor gozo que ver a tus niños convencidos de la verdad que tú les has enseñado. So we want to have frequent conversations in our homes about Christian worldview issues.

[7:55] De forma que queremos tener conversaciones frecuentes en nuestros hogares acerca de la conmovisión de la vida. We don't want our children just to feel like we're always preaching at them.

[8:07] No queremos que nuestros niños sientan que estamos siempre en un modo de predicación hacia ellos. But we want them to realize that we are trying to inform their minds and build truth into them.

[8:18] Pero queremos que ellos se den cuenta que queremos informarles sus mentes y construir la verdad en ellos. And bring light to their conscience. Y traer iluminación a sus conciencias.

[8:31] Of course we have to acknowledge the sad fact of human depravity. Pero tenemos que reconocer el factor triste de la depravación humana. Our children are not morally or intellectually neutral.

[8:46] Nuestros niños no son moralmente o intelectualmente neutros. They're self-indulgent. Son auto-indulgentes. They're compulsively self-centered. Son compulsivamente egocéntricos.

[8:59] They need to receive and be taught moral truth. Necesitan recibir y ser enseñados de las verdades morales. Because left to themselves they'll be slaves of their appetites and desires.

[9:10] Because abandoned themselves they'll be slaves of their appetites. But the Creator has placed in our children a conscience. But the Creator has created in our children a conscience.

[9:22] And we can appeal to that conscience as we teach them and instruct them. And we can help them learn the difference between good and evil.

[9:34] And even instill a sense of obligation to do what is right and true. And even instill a sense of obligation to do what is right and true.

[9:50] Because what your children need to learn, they need to learn early. Because what your children need to learn, they need to learn early. They need to see themselves as creatures made for God and made by God.

[10:03] Tienen que verse a ellos como criaturas hechos por Dios y para Dios. Who have a duty to love him and obey him. Que tiene un deber de amarle y obedecerle.

[10:15] And we want to teach them those things from the earliest days. Y queremos enseñarles esas cosas desde sus días primeros. Now of course the scriptures, there's so many passages of scripture that talk about this.

[10:27] Hay tantos pasajes en la escritura de lo que podemos hablar de estas cosas. Deuteronomy 6 says, these commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Deuteronomy 6 dice que estos mandamientos que te he dado estarán en tu corazón.

[10:40] Impress them on your children. Pásaselo a tus niños. Talk about them. When you sit at home, when you walk along the road, when you lie down, when you get up. Habla de ellos cuando te sientes en el hogar, cuando te acuestes, cuando vayas con ellos en el camino.

[10:55] We've looked at that passage at some length earlier. Vimos ese pasaje excesivamente anteriormente. But it's a call to teach about God and about God's perfections.

[11:08] Pero es un llamado a enseñar acerca de Dios y sus perfecciones. To teach about his government of mankind. Enseñar acerca de su gobierno sobre el género humano. To teach about the fall and our need of grace.

[11:20] Enseñar acerca de la gracia y nuestras necesidades. And teach about the redemption that's provided for us in Christ Jesus. Y enseñar acerca de la redención que es provista a nosotros en Cristo. About the influence of the Holy Spirit that can work within us.

[11:34] Acerca de la influencia del Espíritu Santo que puede obrar en nosotros. About the joys of walking with Christ and knowing Christ. Acerca del gozo que es caminar con Él y conocer a Cristo.

[11:45] About His precious promises for those who seek Him. Acerca de las preciosas promesas que vienen a aquellos que le buscan. There's a wonderful passage at the end of the book of Deuteronomy.

[11:58] Hay un pasaje maravilloso al final del libro de Deuteronomio. In Deuteronomy 32. Deuteronomio capítulo 32. It says, take to heart all the words that I've solemnly declared to you this day.

[12:12] Toma en tu corazón las palabras que solemnemente te declaro en este día. So that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of the law.

[12:23] De forma que le mandes a tus niños que obedezcan cuidadosamente todas las palabras de esta ley. They are not just idle words for you. They are your life.

[12:33] We want to urge our children to walk in God's ways because this is where life is found. Nosotros queremos que nuestros niños aprendan a caminar el camino de Dios porque allí es donde se encuentra la vida.

[12:49] So children require a regular systematic instruction in Christian truth. Los niños requieren regular y sistemáticamente las enseñanzas de las verdades cristianas.

[13:01] Margie likes to talk about thinking of the Old Testament as our family album. Margie piensa acerca del Antiguo Testamento que es el álbum de nuestra familia.

[13:12] Because the Bible stories in the Bible are our stories. Porque las historias bíblicas no son solamente historias. And we want to teach them those stories.

[13:22] Queremos enseñar esas historias. We want to teach them the lives of Christian saints who have lived in the past. Le queremos enseñar la vida de los santos cristianos que vivieron en el pasado.

[13:34] I think reading Christian biographies with your kids is a wonderful thing to do for your children. Leer biografías cristianas con tus niños es una importante manera de hacerlo.

[13:44] So you're inspiring them with true heroes. Porque los estás inspirando con verdaderos héroes. Not just the Marvel comic book heroes. No solamente los héroes de las tiras cómicas.

[13:56] But true heroes who have lived godly lives. Pero verdaderos héroes que vivieron vidas piadosas. We want to sing with our children and praise God with our children.

[14:08] Queremos cantar con nuestros niños y alabar a Dios con ellos. And teach them to pray. Y enseñarlos a orar. And throughout history God's people have used these means to pass truth on to the next generation.

[14:21] Y a través de la historia el pueblo de Dios ha utilizado estas verdades para pasar la verdad a la nueva generación. And we want to delight our kids with the joys of an unseen world of spiritual reality.

[14:33] Y queremos deleitar a nuestros niños y instruirles con el gozo de las verdades espirituales invisibles. I thought recently we want to help them to see the beauty of God's ways.

[14:46] Queremos enseñarles las bellezas de los caminos de Dios. So that they will hope that all the things we're teaching them are true. Que ellos retendrán las verdades que les estamos enseñando.

[14:59] Now there are both formal and informal opportunities to do this. Hay maneras formales e informales de hacer estas cosas. We've talked about that earlier too. There are those informal opportunities just provided by living together and hanging out together.

[15:16] Hay maneras informales e informales de enseñarles como es viviendo con ellos y estando junto con ellos. There are the formal opportunities like family worship. Y las más formales como adoración familiar.

[15:27] Where we gather together as God's people. Cuando nos juntamos como pueblo de Dios. As a family to love God. Como una familia para amar a Dios. And as we hold truth before our children.

[15:41] We hold it before them with this confidence. And when we have the truth. And when we have the truth behind our children. We do it with confidence. It's not that we are going to be the most persuasive people.

[15:52] No is that we are going to be the most persuasive people. But God's truth is powerful. But God's truth is powerful. And it's self-authenticating. And it's self-authenticating.

[16:03] in Isaiah 55 Isaiah uses this wonderful metaphor he says God's word is like the rain and snow that fall on the earth it doesn't return to heaven until it waters the earth and makes the earth fruitful and Isaiah says that's what God's word is like and Isaiah says how is the word of God there is hope there for us as parents God's spirit works through God's word and we want to be bringing God's word to our children all the time because God's revealed truth will accomplish his redemptive purposes and that's a great comfort as we teach our children because what parent teaching his child doesn't feel his sense of weakness and you know

[17:21] I cannot reach inside and flip a switch and make this child love God I cannot reach out to his heart and change his heart to make him love but what has God given me to use that is powerful he's given me his word and the spirit works through the word of God the word Hebrews reminds us is living and active it's like a two-edged sword it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart it is self-authenticating truth and we can find solid hope there for us as parents and we can find solid hope there for us as parents do any of us doubt that the media and entertainment world provides a destructive influence for our children we know that's true let's not just curse the darkness no solamente maldigamos las tinieblas let's be active in pursuing our kids with truth seamos activos en perseguir a nuestros niños con la verdad en seeking to engage them in ways that are persuasive en buscar de involucrarlos con maneras que sean persuasivas let's seek to win them and to influence them busquemos el influenciarlos y el ganárnoslos let's encourage in them a love for virtue and love for what is good vamos a estimularlo con amor por lo virtuoso y lo que es bueno

[19:21] I think with all of this we should be we should be sensitive to the seasons in your child's life I think with all of this we should be sensitive to the seasons in your child's life there are some seasons when they are distancing and they hold you at arm's length there are other times when they are tender and open to you and during those times when they are distancing and they hold us at arm's length we have to pray deeply for them and with longing and yearning for them and in those times when they are more responsive we want to gently pursue them we want to engage in heartfelt conversations queremos involucrarlos en conversaciones de corazón and express the delightful joys that we experience in knowing God y expresarle el gozo que sentimos de conocer a Dios we want to win them with the delight and satisfaction of knowing God queremos ganarles con el delight y la satisfacción de conocer a Dios help them see the peace and security that you find because you know God enseñarles a ver la paz y seguridad que hemos encontrado porque conocemos a Dios and do it with winsomeness and with earnestness y hacerlo con sabiduría y con esfuerzo

[21:09] I think of Paul's prayer in Philippians chapter 1 he says this is my prayer that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight that you will be able to discern what is best and be pure and blameless for the day of Christ filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through faith in Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God all the things that we deeply need to earnestly teach our children are given to us here love, knowledge insight, discernment purity, blamelessness pureza righteousness justicia these things come from God these things come from God these things come from God don't allow yourself to wonder if you can reflect these qualities no te permitas preguntarte si tu puedes reflejar estas cualidades join Paul in praying that these things would be present in your life another means is to gain the confidence of our children another means is to gain the confidence of our children we should be we should be seeking to persuade them that no one loves them as much as mom and dad they must know that you're devoted to them they must know that you're devoted to them a ellos.

[23:14] That you have their best interest at heart. Que tienes en tu corazón el mejor interés por ellos. And that there is no one who will ever love them more than you love them as parents.

[23:26] Y que no habrá nadie jamás que los amará ellos como tú los amas como padre. No one else will suffer as long and be patient with them. Nadie va a sufrir por tanto tiempo y será tan paciente con ellos.

[23:39] And they must know that there's no greater reward you desire than to see them to see their best welfare. So we should be we should be striving to win the affection of our children.

[24:05] We want to to draw them into our confidence. a la confianza que tenemos. And encourage them to have conversation with us.

[24:18] Estimularles a que tengan conversaciones con nosotros. We'll show them that they can trust us with their deepest thoughts. Le podemos mostrar que nos pueden confiar con sus pensamientos más profundos. We want to be authorities in their lives that are kind like Christ's authority.

[24:33] Queremos ser autoridades en ellos como Cristo que es una autoridad gentil y bondadosa. In 1 Thessalonians Paul uses the intimacy of the mother-child father-child relationship.

[24:47] En 1 Thessalonians Pablo utiliza el símil de la relación madre-hija padre-hijo and he describes mothers as being gentle and sharing their lives with their children.

[25:00] Y describe a las madres siendo tiernas a emplear su vida con sus niños because their children are precious to them. Porque sus niños son preciosos para ellos.

[25:11] And fathers are described as men who inspire conduct that is ennobling conduct. Y los padres son descritos como personas que engendran conductas que ennoblecen a sus niños.

[25:24] So dads comfort and encourage and urge their children to live in a way that is worthy of God. Los padres confortan alientan a sus niños a que vivan en una forma que es digna de Dios.

[25:38] And we need we want to be those kinds of parents as we engage our children. Y queremos ser ese tipo de padres a medida que involucramos a nuestros niños. We also want to pray fervently for them.

[25:51] Queremos también orar fervientemente por ellos. Humble prayer will accomplish much in the development of your children. La oración humilde logrará mucho en el desarrollo de tus niños.

[26:04] I've had the joy of meeting many young people who are very intelligent and very determined parents. He tenido el gozo de conocer a muchas parejas jóvenes inteligentes que son muy determinados.

[26:20] And they've thought really they've thought thoroughly about doing their job well. Y que han pensado de una manera cabal cómo llevar a cabo su trabajo y hacerlo bien.

[26:33] And they place great confidence in their skill and their management and their firmness with their children. Y ellos ponen mucha confianza en sus habilidades su firmeza y su trabajo integral con sus niños.

[26:49] And they place a great deal of hope in their intentionality and often they're far more concerned with parenting techniques than they are with prayer for their kids.

[27:04] And when we pour our hearts out in prayer for our children we're renouncing our self confidence.

[27:19] But when we derram our heart to God we are placing our dependence on God. And we will fail as parents.

[27:37] And we need again and again to carry our children to the grace of God. And we need to submissively and fervently bring them before the throne of grace continually.

[28:00] Because you will be the best parent you can be when you're nourished by prayer. Because it's at God's mercy seat that parental love is poured out for children.

[28:28] So we want to do all that God has called us to do. But our hope is in God alone. And we cry out every day for God to do in our children what we cannot do for them.

[28:44] And let your children hear you pray for them. Let them hear you ask for God's blessing and for his protection.

[29:01] for his grace to keep them from sin and temptation. For his spirit to make the truth live within them.

[29:20] Remember how Jesus prayed at Lazarus' tomb. He prayed in a manner that was designed to engender faith in his disciples.

[29:38] So pray for God's restraining grace. Pray for God to illuminate their hearts and minds. Pray for him, for God to give them the light and the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus.

[30:04] And while you pray fervently for your children, remember the promise of James 5. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

[30:17] La oración ferviente de justo puede mucho. what are the motivations for us as we parent our children? The intrinsic value of every child, your child, every child is made in the image of God.

[30:41] they're designed for relationship with the living God. They're capable of relationships that only creatures made in God's image can have.

[30:55] They're capable of relationships that only creatures made in God's image can have. what's more is your children are immortal. Lo que es más aún, tus niños son immortales.

[31:08] They will continue to live throughout the eons of history. Ellos continuarán viviendo por las edades y edades de la eternidad.

[31:19] They possess a never dying soul. Poseen un alma que nunca muere. They will inhabit eternity either in the presence of God or in the unimaginable agony of hell.

[31:34] Ellos estarán en la eternidad, en la agonía inimaginable del infierno o en la gloriosa presencia de Dios. Your child has an intellect and a consciousness that will never die.

[31:48] Y tu niño tiene un intelecto y una conciencia que nunca morirá. Let that motivate you. Que eso sea tu motivación. eternal life and death are in the balance.

[32:07] Secondly, your child calls you father and mother. What human relationship is more precious than the relationship that a parent and a child have with one another?

[32:24] Your kids are not orphans. God put them in your family. They are your children. You have this unique God authored relationship between you and your spouse and your child that is unique to your family.

[32:46] God is the one who created and blessed the family. I know that he created and blessed the family.

[32:58] Psalm 27 says he puts the lonely in families. The God of heaven says to you take this precious child with whom you enjoy this unique and special relationship.

[33:24] and nurture this child and raise this child for me. Eternal Matters of unbelievable magnitude have been placed in our hands.

[33:44] Asuntos eternos de una magnitude increíble han sido puestos en nuestras manos. View your children as the adults they will be.

[34:00] You're nurturing children for greatness and for glory. Your children in time may influence!

[34:15] Your children can influence a multitude of people. What could be of more value for you to invest yourself in in this life than in your children?

[34:27] What could be more valuable What more important thing will you do than raise children?

[34:38] what could do you do to raise your children? Now what truth from God's word what gospel encouragements can enable us to embrace this awesome task?

[34:53] What part of the truth of the gospel could help us to give us these truths? In Titus 3 the apostle reminds Titus of the love of God our Savior.

[35:06] In Titus 3 the apostle reminds Titus of the truth of God speaks of the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit.

[35:21] He talks about being justified by grace and being full of the hope of eternal life. He about being justified by faith and being full of the hope of life eternal and he says to Titus stress these things so that those who have trusted themselves in God may devote themselves to doing what is good.

[35:53] See it's the grace of God that motivates our obedience and we want to embrace the call to nurture the never dying souls of our children and doing that in light of the unspeakable kindness that God has shown you in showing you his grace so!

[36:27] So as a parent you have the opportunity to engage the heart and imagination of your children take them into your confidence as you find grace and help to live each day let them see you as a person of humility who has great hope in the power of God because nothing will give your children understanding of the power of the gospel like your love and dependence on God our children are the next generation one generation follows the last generation in a few years your children will be taking your place in the life of the church and the most powerful time to oppress truth on them is during childhood because they're not they're not yet bitter or cynical about life they have very few cares their imaginations are vivid their memories are magnetic their emotions are often very open and tender and that's a wonderful time to raise them in the fear and admonition of the

[38:31] Lord and David speaks about the power of this instruction in Psalm 78 he says God has decreed the law in Israel that he commanded our ancestors to teach to their children so that the next generation would know them even children yet to be born and they would in turn tell their children and then they would put their trust in God and not forget his deeds but keep his commands every day as you live with your children you're teaching them a view of reality you're showing them that

[39:35] God is good that he rewards those who seek him you're telling them every day by loving God and loving others that God's law is good when you're kind to people who are unkind to you you show the magnanimity of God everything you do provides a narrative for your children we should be sure that the story we're telling is true and finally God is a rewarder of those who seek him God always encourages us with his real promises look at the history of families and nations who have trusted

[40:41] God and you quickly see that God is a rewarder of those who seek him and will be to Deuteronomy chapter 18 he says God God excuse me it's the same passage it's another version of the passage I quoted a moment ago from Psalm 78 Deuteronomy 5 says oh that they had such a heart in them that they would fear me and keep my commandments always and that it would be well with them and their children forever or Psalm 103 reminds us that from everlasting to everlasting

[41:43] God's love is with those who fear him God works through his word in the lives of our children and ultimately our hope for our children is not in our abilities or performance but it's in the power of the gospel because the gospel is powerful and self authenticating and it is suited to the needs of fallen creatures and it bears good fruit in our children's lives and it brings good fruit in our children's lives!

[42:46] in in 2019 Margie and I did some sightseeing with a couple of our teenage grandsons and and and one night over dinner we started talking to the boys about the resurrection of Christ and and the!

[43:15] and the implication of the resurrection for us as Christians and as the conversation continued our grandsons became more and more animated and they were excited they spoke freely about the implications of the resurrection and we continued in conversation for almost two hours and our grandsons were actually extending the conversation and that was the fruit of the teaching that each of them had received and embraced in their homes John puts it this way in the third epistle there is no greater joy than for our children and grandchildren to walk in truth no hay mayor gozo que nuestros niños y nietos caminen en la verdad amen amen