Shepherding a Child's Heart Session 10 — Teens

[0:00] Age of opportunity. And we want to begin with just an overview of the teenage years.

[0:18] And think of this as common characteristics of teens.

[0:38] It wouldn't necessarily be true of every teenager, but it's typical of teenagers. The teenage years are often years of insecurity.

[0:57] Teenagers feel insecure about themselves. They feel insecure about their fund of knowledge. They feel insecure about what the future may hold for them.

[1:16] They even feel insecure about them. We used to notice when we had teenagers that they spent a lot of time in front of the mirror.

[1:30] And they weren't just fixing themselves and making themselves look attractive.

[1:49] They were practicing. Is this my good smile? Is this my good smile?

[2:08] Is this my good side? Or is this my good side? And they're asking themselves, am I marketable?

[2:25] Will someone come into the Walmart of life and put me in the basket and take me home? And so often there's the insecurity tracks with teenagers.

[2:44] A menudo vemos las inseguridades que vienen con los adolescentes. It's also a time of vulnerability. Es un tiempo de vulnerabilidad también. They're not little children anymore.

[2:57] No son niños pequeños. But they're also not fully adults. Pero no son adultos desarrollados. They're kind of stuck between childhood and adulthood. Están en el medio entre la adultez y la niñez.

[3:12] And when they act like an adult, the parents say, don't get too big for yourself. You're still my child, you know. Y cuando actúan como adultos, los padres dicen, no actúes como una persona adulta.

[3:25] Tú eres todavía mi niño. And then when they act like a child, the adults say, if you want to be treated like an adult, act like an adult. Cuando actúan como niños, entonces los padres le dicen, si quieres ser tratado como un adulto, concórdate como un adulto.

[3:40] So they're often receiving mixed messages even from the adults. A menudo reciben mensajes ambiguos de los adultos por eso. It's also a time of instability.

[3:52] Es un tiempo también de inestabilidad. Teenagers are unstable in the world of ideas. Los adolescentes son inestables en el mundo de las ideas. We used to notice when we would have long conversations around our dinner table that the teenagers could be on all sides of the discussion.

[4:11] Notamos a menudo en nuestras conversaciones durante la cena que los adolescentes brincan de un lugar a otro cuando están conversando. And making arguments one moment that were very inconsistent with what they had said a moment earlier.

[4:28] Haciendo argumentos que se contradicen a veces unos con otros. Y la razón de eso es que los adolescentes no tienen convicciones fijas aún.

[4:44] So everything is an open idea. De manera que todo es una idea abierta. And that's why teenagers are so susceptible to strange ideas.

[4:55] Y es por eso que los adolescentes son tan susceptibles a muchas ideas. There also is instability emotionally. También hay inestabilidad emocional.

[5:06] One minute, everything is great, life is good. Un minuto, todo está bien, la vida es muy buena. The next moment, the world has come to an end again.

[5:17] En el próximo minuto, el mundo se está acabando. For the third time today. Por la tercera vez en ese día. So that there's this emotional instability that tracks with teenagers.

[5:30] De forma que hay esa inestabilidad emocional que viene con ser un adolescente. It's also a time of apprehension. Es un tiempo también de mucha aprehensión.

[5:40] Teenagers worry about how I get from this point in my life. Where I live at the largesse of my parents. To the place where I can care for myself.

[5:52] And I no longer need them. Los adolescentes se preguntan. ¿Cómo yo voy a pasar de vivir con mis padres en el hogar paterno? A yo entonces vivir solo por mí mismo.

[6:04] Proveyéndome todas estas cosas. And so more than you might realize, they feel apprehensive about the future. Más que lo que podamos darnos cuenta, ellos se sienten temerosos acerca del futuro.

[6:16] I remember one of my, one of our children thought that 17 was the best age. Recuerdo que uno de nuestros niños pensaba que 17 años era la mejor edad.

[6:28] Because they were old enough to drive. Porque eran lo suficientemente viejos para manejar. They had a lot more freedom than they had when they were little children. Tenían mucho más libertad que cuando eran pequeños.

[6:40] But they didn't have the responsibility of providing for themselves and caring for themselves. Pero no tenían la responsabilidad de proveer para ellos mismos, ni encargarse de ellos mismos. And so this one child of ours decided they were just going to stay 17.

[6:54] Así que ese niño de nosotros decidió que él iba a permanecer en 17 años de edad. It didn't work out for them. No funcionó para ellos. But that's kind of typical of teenagers.

[7:07] Pero eso es típico de los adolescentes. It's also a time when there's a tendency to resist authority. Es un tiempo también cuando hay una tendencia a resistir la autoridad. And the parents of teens need to be very wise in the ways that they engage their children.

[7:23] Y los padres de adolescentes necesitan ser muy sabios en la manera en que abordan a sus niños. So we don't speak to a teenager as though he is a toddler.

[7:35] De forma que no le hablamos a un adolescente como si fuese un niño de uno a tres años de edad. So you give direction in ways that are different than you would give direction to a four year old.

[7:45] Tú le das direcciones de una manera diferente de las que le darías a un niño de cuatro años. What are some of the common pitfalls for the parents of teens? ¿Cuáles son uno de los de las fallas comunes de los padres?

[8:00] One of the things I think of is I call it cops and robbers. And here's what I mean. It's when parents are trying to catch their kids doing something wrong.

[8:14] Y lo que quiero decir es cuando los padres tratan de agarrar a sus niños haciendo algo incorrecto, sorprenderles. And the teenager is trying to get away with as much as he can possibly get away with.

[8:27] Y el adolescente está tratando de salirse con la suya lo más que puede. And you don't want to see that negative cycle develop in your family. Y no quisemos, tú no quieres ver ese ciclo negativo desarrollarse en la familia.

[8:42] I used to say to my kids, I choose to trust you and believe what you tell me. Me acostumbré a decirle a mis niños, yo te confío y creo en lo que tú me dices.

[8:52] And I'm not going to sneak around and try to catch you doing something wrong. Y no voy a estar investigando ni buscando que tú has hecho mal. But I want you to know I pray every day that if there's something you're involved in I should know about, that God will bring it to my attention.

[9:10] Pero quiero decirte que yo oro cada día que si hay algo malo en lo que tú estás involucrado, que el Señor me lo revele. Otro problema muy común es cuando los padres no están conectados con sus adolescentes.

[9:29] Here's what I mean. They give up on being a nurturing parenting influence in the life of their teens. Lo que quiero decir con esto es que ellos no están, han abandonado el ser padres que se comunican con ellos y tienen una relación fructífera.

[9:46] And I think often parents conclude my children have their own ideas. Y creo que los padres concluyen, bueno mis hijos tienen sus propios conceptos. And they think that I'm old fashioned and I don't understand.

[10:00] Y piensan que yo soy de mente antigua y no los comprendo. And they're more influenced by other influences in the culture and other people than they are by me. Y están más influenciados por otras culturas y otras personas que por mí.

[10:14] And so parents give up on being a nurturing influence. Así que los padres abandonan el ser una influencia beneficiosa para sus niños. Now they might still have a curfew.

[10:26] Ellos podrían tener todavía toque de queda que ahora tienen que llegar. I want you to be in by 10 o'clock. Quiero que estén aquí a las 10 de la noche. But they've given up on being a nurturing influence.

[10:36] Pero han abandonado el ser una influencia beneficiosa en sus niños. Because they've concluded they don't want to hear from me. They're more influenced by the culture. And I can't have influence like I used to.

[10:49] Porque ellos han concluido que sus niños son más influenciados por la cultura. Y que no pueden hacer nada para cambiar eso. Now the same parent when the child was a 4 year old was pouring himself into the child.

[11:02] El mismo padre que cuando su niño era de 4 años de edad se derramaba abundantemente trabajando con el niño.

[11:13] But now he's given up on being that same kind of nurturing influence. Pero ahora esa influencia tan fuerte la ha abandonado con su adolescente. And parents conclude they don't need me anymore.

[11:25] Because they understand things. And they know how to use the microwave and how to feed themselves.

[11:39] Ellos saben cómo usar el microondas y cómo comerse sus alimentos. And they know that they shouldn't put their fingers in the light sockets. Y saben ya que no pueden poner sus dedos en los switches de los eléctricos.

[11:51] And so they don't need me anymore. De forma que concluimos que ellos no los necesitan ya. And the reality is that your teenagers need you just as much as they needed you when you were a toddler.

[12:04] Pero la realidad es que tus adolescentes te necesitan aún más que cuando eran de 1 a 3 años. They don't need you for the same purposes. No te necesitan por el mismo propósito.

[12:15] They know how to use the appliances in the house. Ellos saben cómo utilizar los artefactos electrónicos en la casa. But they need your involvement with them. Pero necesitan tu involucración con ellos.

[12:26] They need for you to know them. Necesitan conocerte. They need for you to understand them. Necesitas entenderles. And to understand their fears and their aspirations.

[12:38] Y que tú conozcas necesitan sus temores y aspiraciones. And to understand the temptations and the opportunities that they're confronted with. Y comprender las tentaciones y oportunidades con las cuales ellos son retados.

[12:51] And they need for you to engage them and interact with them. Y necesitan que tú te involucres e interactúes con ellos. And so I want to encourage you. Don't conclude that they don't need me because they're teenagers.

[13:04] De forma que quiero alentarte a que no concluyas. Que no te necesitan porque son adolescentes. Another pitfall is authoritarianism versus influence.

[13:17] Otro error es el autoritarianismo comparado con la influencia. Now by authoritarianism, here's what I mean. Por authoritarianismo, esto es lo que quiero decir.

[13:29] Is when a parent concludes I'm going to show that I can practice tough love. Cuando un padre concluye que yo le voy a mostrar un amor ápero.

[13:40] And I can come up with punishments that will be very difficult for you. Y que puedo traerle castigos que pueden ser muy duros para ellos. And I'm going to keep you under my thumb.

[13:51] Y que te voy a mantener subyugado, sometido. So that's the kind of authoritarianism I'm speaking against. Este es el tipo de autoritarianismo del cual estoy hablando en contra.

[14:02] I mean, not speaking against authority as is properly exercised by the parent over teens. No hablando de la autoridad cuando es apropiadamente ejercida de los padres para con sus adolescentes.

[14:16] So I want to encourage you, rather than thinking I will control my kids by authority, think about the necessity of being an influence in their lives. Y cuando alguien está pensando acerca de ser una autoridad, debe pensar cómo ser realmente una influencia en sus niños.

[14:35] Let me give you an illustration. Imagine with me that I told you that the President of the United States never makes a decision without checking with me.

[14:51] Imagínense que yo les diría que el Presidente de los Estados Unidos nunca toma una decisión sin primero hablar conmigo. And he always does what I suggest. Y él siempre hace lo que yo sugiero.

[15:03] Now, if that were true, Ahora, si eso fuese verdad, how much authority would I have in the government? ¿Cuánta autoridad yo tendría entonces en el gobierno?

[15:15] It's a trick question. Es una pregunta engañosa. Because I would have no authority at all. Porque yo no tendría ninguna autoridad. I'm not elected to any office.

[15:25] Yo no estoy elegido a ningún cargo en el gobierno. The President is now obligated to listen to me. El Presidente no está obligado a escucharme. But if I had the President's ear, Pero si tuviese la atención del Presidente, How much influence would I have?

[15:42] ¿Cuánta influencia yo tendría? I would have great influence. Yo tuviese una gran influencia. And that's the kind of relationship we want to cultivate with our teenagers.

[15:53] Y ese es el tipo de relación que queremos cultivar con nuestros adolescentes. So we're cultivating a relationship that gives us influence in the life of this teenager.

[16:03] Estamos cultivando una relación que nos da influencia en la vida de nuestros adolescentes. Another common pitfall is reckless words. Otro error muy común son las palabras temerarias.

[16:17] Reckless words, the Proverbs says reckless words wound like a sword. El Proverbio dice que las palabras temerarias hieren como una espada.

[16:28] But the tongue of the wise brings healing. Pero la lengua del sabio trae sanación. Sometimes parents use reckless words with their teenagers.

[16:40] Algunas veces los padres utilizan palabras temerarias con sus adolescentes. Words that are destructive and demeaning. Palabras que son destructivas y degradantes. Words that wound like a sword.

[16:50] Palabras que hieren como espadas. I was with a couple in Scranton one night. Estaba con una pareja en Scranton una noche.

[17:01] We were overseeing a church up there and I was up there to make a pastoral visit. We were supervisando a church up there and they had a two-story home and the staircase opened into the living room.

[17:17] They had a house of two floors and a stairs and a door open. And the daughter came down the stairs.

[17:28] She was dressed like a woman of the night. She was dressed in a flagrantly immodest way.

[17:43] She was dressed in a flagrantly immodest way. And her father spoke to her from across the room in my presence. And he said, where do you think you're going dressed like that?

[17:58] You look like a whore. She said, I'm going out. And she went out the door.

[18:12] And he turned back to me to continue to make polite conversation like nothing was wrong. And I felt so grieved by that situation.

[18:26] And I felt so grieved by that situation. Because his words were destructive words. Because his words were destructive words. They were demeaning words to his daughter.

[18:37] They were not the tongue of the wise bringing healing. No eran las palabras del sabio trayendo sanación. Now, was there a reason for parental concern that night?

[18:50] Había entonces alguna razón para preocupación paterna esa noche? Absolutely. Absolutamente. I would not have wanted my daughter to own those clothes.

[19:01] Yo jamás quisiera que mi hija tuviese esas ropas. I would not have wanted her to try them on in her bedroom for her own amusement. Yo ni siquiera quisiera que las tratara, se las midiera en su cuarto y su habitación por diversión.

[19:15] There was a legitimate concern on the part of the father. Había una preocupación legítima de parte del padre. But the words were reckless words that wound like a sword.

[19:28] Pero las palabras fueron palabras temerarias que hieren como una espada. And I think sometimes when our kids are teenagers, we have this sense that our power over them is slipping away.

[19:40] Y tenemos este sentido de que cuando nuestros hijos son adolescentes, nuestro poder se está deslizando. And the temptation is to begin to be more and more destructive in our speech.

[19:53] Y la tentación es ser más y más destructivo en nuestro lenguaje. And finally, majoring on the minors, I'll call it. Y finalmente, haciendo una maestría en las cosas menores.

[20:08] Just focusing on behavior. Enfocándonos exclusivamente en su conducta. There are a lot of issues that are matters of taste and style. They're not matters of morality.

[20:21] Hay muchísimas cosas que son asuntos de estilo y de preferencia. No de problema moral. And there are a lot of things that we are going to, we will overlook with our teenagers that we would not overlook with.

[20:39] There are things that we will choose to overlook rather than make an issue out of. Y hay cosas que nosotros debemos pasar por alto.

[20:50] Más bien que hacer un punto de conflicto de ellas. You know, I think it's always disappointing to realize that your children, they will not want to grow up and look like you.

[21:02] Every generation has a way of distinguishing themselves from previous generations.

[21:14] Cada generación tiene su manera de distinguirse y diferenciarse de generaciones previas. I was raised by a World War II veteran. Yo fui criado por un veterano de la Segunda Guerra Mundial.

[21:27] And his hair was always very closely cut. Y su cabello siempre estaba cortado muy, casi totalmente. Y él usaba una corbata cuando estaba cortando la grama.

[21:44] Pero cada generación tiene su manera de distinguirse de otras. So, there are a lot of things that are not issues of morality or modesty and we can let them go.

[21:58] De forma que hay muchas cosas que no son un punto de moralidad que nosotros debemos pasar por alto. Now, what do we want to accomplish in these teenage years?

[22:10] ¿Qué queremos nosotros llevar a cabo con nuestros adolescentes? What is the big picture goal? ¿Cuál es nuestro objetivo central en todo esto? We want our kids to internalize the gospel as their own living faith.

[22:25] Creemos que nuestros hijos internalicen el evangelio como su forma viva de fe. I think of it as passing the baton of faith to the next generation.

[22:36] Pienso de ello como pasando el batón de la fe a la próxima generación. You know, in a relay race there's this zone in which the baton has passed. Piensen que en las carreras de relevo hay esta zona donde el batón es pasado.

[22:52] And one runner is reaching back for it, the other runner is extending it. Y un corredor está alcanzándolo y el otro se está extendiendo. And the teenage years are the years when we are passing the faith to the next generation.

[23:07] Entonces, nosotros le estamos pasando la fe a la nueva generación. And we want them to get such a firm grasp on it that they will run in their generation faithfully.

[23:18] Y queremos pasarle el batón tan fielmente que ellos también corran y se lo pasen a la próxima generación luego de ellos. So that's the big goal for these teenage years.

[23:29] Este es el objetivo por los años de la adolescencia. We want to do all we can to encourage and nurture them grasping hold of the faith for themselves. Queremos hacer todo lo que podamos para nutrirles de forma que ellos también puedan absorber la fe.

[23:47] That means we have to shepherd them and nurture them with the word of God. Eso significa que debemos pastorearles y nutrirles con la palabra de Dios.

[24:00] We want them to see the wisdom and vitality of the scriptures. Queremos que vean la sabiduría y la vitalidad de las escrituras. You know, this book, the Bible, is unique amongst all books.

[24:12] Este libro, la escritura, es único entre todos los libros. It's the only book that is inspired by God. Es el único libro inspirado por Dios.

[24:23] And it is absolutely true. Es completamente verdadero. And it will never be proved false. Y nunca se demostrará que es falso.

[24:33] And it contains everything we need to know and understand to live in the world as God has called us to live. Y contiene todo lo que nosotros necesitamos para vivir en este mundo de la forma que Dios nos demanda.

[24:50] That's what we learn in 2 Timothy 3, 16 and 17. Eso es lo que nosotros aprendemos en 2 Timothy 3, 16 and 17. All scriptures God breathed.

[25:01] Toda la escritura es inspirada por Dios. It is profitable for doctrine, reproof, correction, instruction. Es beneficiosa para enseñar, corregir, reprochar e instruir.

[25:15] So that we might be thoroughly equipped for every good work. De forma que seamos enteramente preparados para toda buena obra. Now think of that.

[25:26] Everything I need to be equipped for everything God has called me to do and to be has been given to me in this book. Todo lo que yo necesito, pensemos en esto, para estar equipado, para vivir y pensar de la forma que Dios me ha llamado, está en este libro.

[25:44] And that means there is nothing that I need to talk to my children about that I cannot tie to the word of God. De forma que no hay nada que yo le pueda hablar a mi hijo que de alguna forma u otra no esté atado a la palabra de Dios.

[26:00] And we need to bring them to the word of God. Y tenemos que traerlos a la palabra de Dios. Because God's spirit works through the word of God. Porque el Espíritu de Dios obra a través de la palabra de Dios.

[26:12] The entrance of God's word brings light. La entrada de la palabra de Dios trae luz. And so I want to encourage you, use the Bible with your teenagers.

[26:23] Quiero estimularte a que uses la escritura con tus adolescentes. Let me give you a couple of illustrations. Debe darte una par de ilustraciones. Imagine you come home from work one day.

[26:34] Imagínate que vienes del trabajo un día. And your children are watching something on TV or on the computer that they should not be watching. Y tus niños están viendo en la televisión o computadora algo que ellos no deben estar mirando.

[26:47] There's coarse language. There's sexual content. They should not be watching this. Una lengua prosaica con contenido sexual.

[26:59] Ellos no deberían estar viendo eso. Now you could just come in and scold them. Tú puedes llegar y reprocharles. You could say, why are you watching that? I told you never to watch that.

[27:11] Le podrías decir, ¿por qué estás viendo eso? Te dije que nunca veas eso. And you could shut off the TV or the computer. Y puedes apagar el televisor o la computadora. Or you could say to them, you know what?

[27:23] Let's shut this off for a minute. Y le puedes decir, vamos a apagarlo por un minuto. But let me tell you why I'm concerned. And you could look at a passage like Ephesians 5.

[27:38] It says, verse 3, among you there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality or impurity. Or of greed for these are improper for God's holy people.

[28:00] Or avaricia or inmundicia. Porque estas son cosas desagradables a Dios. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk. Que no haya obscenidad ni lenguaje prosaico.

[28:12] Or coarse joking. O chistes. But rather thanksgiving. Obscenos. Sino más bien acción de gracias. Now think about that. Not even a hint of sexual immorality.

[28:26] Piensen acerca de eso. Ni siquiera una pizca de immoralidad sexual. Foolish talk or coarse joking. Lenguaje obsceno. O chistes prosaicos.

[28:37] You've just ruled out 90% of things that are out there in the media. Ahí de una vez tú descartarte 90% de las cosas que están en los medios televisivos.

[28:50] And I can say to my child. If you don't agree with this. You don't have any argument with me. Y le puedo decir a mi hijo. Si tú no estás de acuerdo con eso.

[29:01] Tú no tienes un argumento conmigo. I didn't write the book. Yo no escribí este libro. I read it. Yo lo leo. I believe it. Yo lo creo. Pero no son mis palabras.

[29:12] Son las palabras de Dios. Si tú tienes un argumento, tu argumento es no conmigo. Es con Dios. Si tú tienes un argumento es con Dios, no conmigo. El Espíritu de Dios obra a través de la palabra de Dios.

[29:26] Y quiero estimularte que utilices la palabra de Dios con tus niños. Let me give you another illustration. Otro ejemplo. Imagine I've got a 15 year old daughter.

[29:40] Imagínese que tengo una hija de 15 años. And I hear her talking to her younger sister in a way that is very arrogant. And rude and unkind.

[29:56] And so I could just scold her. Why are you talking to your sister like that? You know you can't talk to her that way. Who do you think you are?

[30:11] You're not her mother. I don't want to ever hear you talk like that again. Or I could bite my tongue at the moment.

[30:25] And I could look for a chance to come alongside my daughter. And I could say, honey I overheard the conversation you were having with your sister a few minutes ago.

[30:37] And I was thinking about this passage in James 3. And I was thinking about this passage in James 3.

[30:50] And it makes a contrast between two different kinds of wisdom. And it makes a contrast between two different kinds of wisdom. One wisdom is earthly and it's unspiritual and it's of the devil.

[31:03] Una sabiduría es terrenal, no espiritual, de Satanás. The other wisdom is pure and peace-loving. Y la otra es pura y amante de la paz.

[31:16] It's considerate and full of mercy and good fruit. Es considerada llena de misericordia y de buenos frutos. It's impartial. It is sincere. it's the wisdom of peacemakers who sow in peace and raise a harvest of righteousness so I could read that passage with her and I could say we don't have to have a long conversation I just want you to evaluate yourself and which wisdom you were reflecting in the conversation with your sister and I can leave her with God's word my point is we need to use God's word with our teenagers because God's word is powerful we also have to shepherd our children through the inevitable periods of doubt that come with teenagers any young person raised in a Christian home is going to wrestle with questions of faith and no matter how faithful you have been they are going to have to embrace the truth for themselves and they are going to have times when they have deep questions about the truthfulness of all the things you have taught them about God and it's inevitable that that's going to take place and so we need to shepherd them through those times of doubt nosotros necesitamos pastorearles en esos tiempos de dudas and not shame them y no avergonzarles not say to them how could you question the being and existence of God after all we've taught you rather we ought to be saying what are your questions your mother and I are not Christians because we switched our brains off we believe our faith is reasonable faith and we're willing to interact with you about any questions of faith that you have and we're willing to interact with you in any questions of faith that you have sometimes parents have said to me

[34:40] I don't want to say that to them because I don't think I could answer their questions algunas veces padres me dicen yo no quiero decirle eso a mis hijos porque yo no creo que pueda responder a las preguntas que ellos tienen one of the blessings of this internet era is we have wonderful resources that we can draw on una de las bendiciones de esta época del internet es que tenemos maravillosos recursos que nos pueden asistir you can say to your kids that's not a question I've ever wrestled with and I don't know the answer to it just now le puedes decir a tu niño esta es una pregunta con la que yo no he luchado y no tengo la respuesta ahora but I know Christian people wrestled with that question pero sé que personas cristianas tienen luchas con esas preguntas and I'm willing to help you find the answers to that question y estoy dispuesto a ayudarte a encontrar la respuesta a esas preguntas and there are wonderful resources that are available y hay recursos maravillosos que están disponibles

[35:43] I think of Tim Keller's book The Reason for God me llega a la mente el libro de Tim Keller La Razón de Dios and there's a book by Doug Wilson entitled Persuasions hay un libro por Douglas Wilson titulado Persuasión and between those books you have every question you can imagine a skeptic asking about Christian faith and so we need to engage our children so that they can grasp the faith for themselves debemos de abordar y involucrar a nuestros niños de forma que ellos puedan abrazar la fe por sí mismos so we want to be saying to them any questions you have are always welcome in our house de forma que debamos ser capaces de decirles a ellos cualquier pregunta que tengas es bienvenida en esta casa and if we don't have answers we'll help you find them y si no tenemos la respuesta te ayudaremos a encontrarla ultimately we want to come to a a place of mutuality as adults under God finalmente queremos llegar a un lugar de mutuo acuerdo bajo Dios

[37:02] I have three things I want to observe from Proverbs chapter 1 tengo tres puntos que quisiera destacar acerca de Proverbios capítulo 1 and they're really foundations for teenagers y son realmente fundamentales para adolescentes the first is in verse 7 the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge but fools despise wisdom and discipline el primero es el versículo 7 el temor del Señor el principio de la sabiduría es el temor del Señor pero los necios desprecian el conocimiento uno de los principios fundamentales que le podemos dar a nuestros niños es el principio del temor del Señor quisiera estimularte que estudies los atributos de Dios con tus hijos porque cada uno de los atributos de Dios tiene aspectos que son fascinantes y expanden nuestras mentes y estudia pasajes que muestran la gloria de Dios piensa de un pasaje como Isaías 40 que describe a Dios en términos tan grandiosos

[38:48] Él es aquel ante el cual las naciones son como una gota de agua en un cubo ellos son como polvo en la balanza los truenos y rayos se reportan ante Él y Él los manda en su camino tú quieres expandir la gloria y la excelencia de Dios ante ellos hay tantos lugares en la escritura a los cuales podemos ir en el libro de Isaías tenemos a partir del capítulo 40 hasta el final todos estos versículos de la gloria de Dios y del Mesías o pasajes como el capítulo 40 o el capítulo 40 el capítulo 40 el capítulo 103 el capítulo 104

[40:00] Daniel capítulo 4 queremos que nuestros niños tengan un entendimiento y comprensión de la grandeza de Dios y pienso que podemos involucrar a los niños en este tipo de conversación y hablaré acerca de eso más al final de julio en nuestra última clase pero la segunda en Proverbs 1 es remembering your parents words pero la segunda el segundo fundamento aquí en Proverbio capítulo 1 es recordar las palabras de los padres listen my son to your father's instruction escucha mi hijo la instrucción de tu padre don't forsake your mother's teaching y no olvides la enseñanza de tu madre they will be a garland to grace your head ellos serán adorno a tu cabeza and a chain to adorn your neck y una cadena que adornará adornará tu cuello and there's a fuller version of it in chapter 6 verses 20 to 23 hay otra versión en el capítulo 6 versículos 20 to 23 20 to 23 versículos capítulo 6 versículos 20 al 23 and I think we want to be urging our children these teenage years that these are years where parents and teenagers get separated from one another queremos alentar a nuestros niños en estos años de la adolescencia que son años que tienden a separar a los padres de los adolescentes and distance develops we want to encourage our children that is not inevitable that does not have to happen

[42:11] I used to say to my teenage children please don't walk away from us your mother and I love you dearly we will lay down our lives for you please don't walk away your friends that you're tempted to give more weight to than you give to us don't love you as much as we do they haven't prayed for you every day of your life ask them we love you and we we want you to follow in the ways of God when I retired from pastoral ministry here at Grace

[43:19] Fellowship and I was cleaning out that big desk in the office I had occupied that office for over 30 years so you collect things that you forgot about in the back of the drawer I found an envelope and it said to dad and I recognized the handwriting I had no idea what was in the envelope because I hadn't looked at it for probably 20 years but it was a letter one of my sons sent me the day he turned 20 and he said I'm not a teenager anymore

[44:20] I'm 20 years old now and for all these years you've been saying please don't walk away from us we love you and I'm thankful that we still have a nice relationship even though I'm not a teenager anymore and it was a very precious reflection on this whole section that I'm talking about the third thing here is disassociation from the wicked my son if sinners entice you do not give in to them your children are going to face the enticement of sinners wicked people will come to them with the zeal of a missionary and will urge them to every form of wickedness that you can imagine sexual perversion drugs alcohol pornography everything you don't want your kids to see someone is going to come and urge them to embrace those things and we need to prepare our kids for that we need to even help them think through what will I say when someone offers this or that to me in fact it's even helpful sometimes to role play those situations and actually hear yourself saying the words that you would say if someone came to you with that temptation because they're going to face the enticement of sinners

[47:06] Now we could ask ourselves what is the attraction of camaraderie with the wicked? And remember who we're dealing with.

[47:25] We're dealing with a teenager who's insecure who's unstable who's still trying to find his way.

[47:36] And what's being offered to him is belonging. We see that in this passage.

[47:51] Come along with us. We will waylay some harmless soul. We will get all sorts of valuable things.

[48:08] We will fill our houses with plunder. Throw in your lot with us. We will share a common purse. Tira tu suerte con nosotros.

[48:19] Vamos a compartir el tesoro. What is being offered? ¿Qué se está ofreciendo? Belonging. El pertenecer. Remember we're dealing with insecure teenagers. Recuerden que estamos hablando de adolescentes inseguros.

[48:32] They need to belong. Necesitan pertenecer. And let me urge you make your home a place where your teenagers belong. Y déjame urgirte haz tu hogar un lugar donde ellos se sienten al cual pertenecen.

[48:45] Organize your life so you have time to spend with your teenagers. Organiza tu vida de forma que tienes tiempo para estar con ellos. Make your home an open home where they can bring their friends in.

[48:57] Haz tu hogar un lugar abierto donde ellos puedan traer sus amigos con ellos. And you will engage their friends and interact with their friends. Y tú involucra a sus amigos e interactúa con sus amigos. And treat them with respect.

[49:08] Trátales con respeto. And it doesn't take much to engage teenagers. No lleva no lleva mucho el involucrar a los adolescentes.

[49:19] You have to be willing to to spend time with them and talk with them. Tienes que estar dispuesto a emplear tiempo con ellos y hablar con ellos. And of course you have to have food. Y desde luego tienes que tener alimentos.

[49:32] But engage your kids. Pero involucralos. Engage their friends. Envolucra a sus amigos. Make your home a place where they are accepted and embraced.

[49:43] Hazle tu hogar un lugar donde ellos son aceptados y recibidos. A place where they where they belong. Un lugar donde se sienten que pertenecen.

[49:56] Now with all of this the grace to do this is not found by looking inside. Ahora con todo esto la gracia para lograr esto no se encuentra mirando hacia adentro.

[50:10] It's found in Christ. Se encuentra en Cristo. It's that passage we looked at last week. Al versículo que miramos la semana pasada. His divine power has given us everything we need.

[50:23] Su divino poder nos ha dado las cosas que necesitamos. So the stamina and the insight that you need is found in Christ.

[50:33] De forma que la fortaleza y el discernimiento que necesitas está en Cristo. The wisdom the strength you need is found in Christ. La sabiduría y la fortaleza que necesitas está en Cristo.

[50:47] The truth that you need to bring to them is found in Christ. La verdad que necesitas dar está en Cristo. So we look to Christ for the grace to shepherd our teens.

[50:59] De forma que miramos a Cristo para encontrar la gracia que necesitamos para pastorear a nuestros niños. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you brother.

[51:15] Thank you brother. Appreciate your work. Thank you brother. Help me overcome the Tower of Babel. Thank you.